i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
