D3 body, D1 cock
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
