You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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