Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
