The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
