But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
