My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
