Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
