so that wasnt chicken after all
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
