So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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