He is an equal opportunity slut.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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