I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
