the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
