just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
