Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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