Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
