You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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