duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
