I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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