Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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