So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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