He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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