think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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