Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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