I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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