I'm sorry my penis didn't work
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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