She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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