Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
