Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
