So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
