Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
