Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize