dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
