Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"

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(650): View more from California

Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.

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(256): View more from Alabama

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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(313): View more from Michigan

We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know

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(719): View more from Colorado

If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?

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(214): View more from Texas

you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.

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