Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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