he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
