y did u give ur computer a hand job?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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