dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize