Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
