i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
