you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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