Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
