I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
