Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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