Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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