i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
