If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize