Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
