Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
