Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize