you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
