I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
