"it" just moved
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize