she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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