I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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