Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
