I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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