I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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