Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
