Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize