I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
