my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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