she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
