in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
